Meredith: A Different Kind Of Fairytale
by boop-oop-ee-doo
Summary: A Grey's adaptation of Shrek. When dark and twisty Meredith's home is invaded by bright and shiny people, she and eternally bubbly Izzie Stevens must go on a quest to rescue the handsome, bewitched attending Derek Shepherd, and earn the deed to her land.
1. Wanted: Bright And Shiny People

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

AN: I know, I always seem to come up with the most weird (yet strangely awesome) ideas.

* * *

A book of fairytales, full of exquisite illustrations, lay open on a woman's lap. She was reading it aloud to herself.

_"Once upon a time, in a far away land, their lived a handsome neurosurgery attending, who had been chosen to one day take over as Chief. Sadly, this poor attending fell under a horrible enchantment. Many brave young residents had tried to release him from the spell, but none prevailed. To this day, he sits in the highest room of an abandoned hospital, waiting for his true love, and true loves first kiss.." _The woman reading, a dark and twisty surgical resident named Meredith Grey, chuckled and tossed the book aside as she stood and flushed the toilet. "Yeah right, that'll never happen." Then, Meredith proceeded to go about her day. She brushed her teeth, showered, then made herself a meal for one, as she did every day. She never had company, as she had never yet encountered another person who could deal with all her issues. Meredith sat down to eat, unaware of the mob that had marched into her garden, fully armed with torches and pitchforks, prepared to drag her off to a psychiatrist. Or at least, she was unaware until she looked out the window and spotted the unmistakable silhouette of the mob. She groaned, rolling her eyes, then stood and headed out the back door, wanting to get rid of her 'guests'. "Damn, can't they just leave me alone? They do this every week!"

--

Meanwhile, the mob huddled outside of the house.

"Is she in there?" asked one man. The person next to him nodded, so the first guy, new to the mob, smirked, and stepped forward confidently. "Let's get her!"

"Are you insane?" cried the mob leader. "Do you have any idea what she'd do if she caught you?"

"She'd hack you to bits!" said another guy.

"Seriously?" the mob gasped as they turned to see Meredith behind them, looking mildly amused. "I think you might have me confused with a complete psychopath. I, a dark and twisty individual, could be much worse for your emotional well-being. I could make you fall for me, get you all emotionally invested, but I'd never be able to commit."

"No!" yelped one of the mob members. Meredith smirked, and continued.

"I'd keep jerking you around, until you're almost dark and twisty yourself.."

"Stay back you monster, back!" cried the mob leader.

"Sure" Meredith shrugged. "One one condition.. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY HOUSE!" The mob screamed in terror, but remained rooted to the spot. "This is the part" Meredith leaned in to whisper, "When you guys are supposed to run along home to your shiny happy wives, or shiny happy girlfriends, or shiny happy mommies and daddies." The mob obeyed, dropping their torches and pitchforks as they fled. "All that screaming was unneccesary. I wouldn't hurt them, I am a doctor.." Meredith frowned as she picked up a flier that had landed by her feet, curious. "'_Wanted: Bright and shiny people' _?" Meredith was a little confused, but scrunched up the flier and threw it over her shoulder, deciding it wasn't her problem. She didn't know how wrong she was..

--

"Okay, this one's full!" yelled a plastic surgeon named Mark Sloan, sitting at the head of a queue for turning in bright and shiny people. He gestured to a cage full of nurses. "Take them away! Next!" The removal of the bright and shiny people had been ordered by Doctor Sydney Herron, a wannabe Chief resident of a nearby hospital. She wanted to be the only bright and shiny person around. An extremely bubbly resident named Izzie Stevens, being handed in by a moody cardio goddess named Erica Hahn, looked on nervously as her best friend George was dragged to the front of the line.

"I'm not bright and shiny, I'm not!" George protested. "I'm 007, I kill people!"

"Fifty bucks for Bambi" said Sloan, handing the money to the woman that had turned George in while the guards dragged him away. "Next!"

"Please, please don't turn me in Doctor Hahn!" Izzie cried. "I'm really sorry I stole a heart from your patient, really.."

"Quiet, Stevens" said Hahn. With her last minute plea failed, Izzie decided that the only thing to do was try and act as depressed as possible.

"What do we have here?" asked Sloan.

"This girl" Hahn smirked, "Has been through a teen pregnancy, cancer, and the death of her fiance', and is still bright and shiny."

"Really?" Doctor Sloan frowned, skeptical. "Well, that's good for 150 dollars.. if you can prove it."

"Of course I can!" said Hahn. "Go on, Stevens." Izzie just bowed her head, sighing sadly. "Uh.. she's just a bit nervous, she's really quite the optimist. Smile you stupid.."

"I've seen enough" said Sloan. "Security!"

"No, she is bright and shiny, really!" cried Hahn, grabbing Izzie's cheeks and pulling her face into a smile, making herself look like a complete lunatic in the process. "Look at me, I'm bright and shiny! I'm a little ray of sunshine!" Hahn continued to argue as security dragged her away. She flailed and kicked, struggling to escape, and knocked over a crate full of toys taken from paediatric patients. Two remote control aeroplanes took off on their own, getting caught on Izzie's scrubs and lifting her into the air.

"Whoa!" cried Izzie, beaming. "I can fly!"

"She can fly!" cried the caged nurses.

"She can fly!" said an intern named Steve.

"She's bright and shiny?!" Yelled Mark angrily.

"That's right, facelift man!" Izzie laughed. "And now I'm bright, shiny, and I can fly! Bet you've never seen that befo.." suddenly, in a stroke of extremely bad luck, both planes ran out of batteries, sending Izzie spiralling into a heap on the ground. "Oh crap."

"Seize her!" Mark yelled. The security guys lunged at Izzie, just missing her, and the bright and shiny resident fled, with them, and Mark, in hot pursuit.


	2. Can I Stay With You?

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

Izzie ran as fast as her legs could carry her, not looking back. She could hear the cries of Sloan and the security guards behind her, but tried to block them out. Suddenly, she ran into someone and fell backwards. It was Meredith, who had been putting a new 'KEEP OUT' sign at the edge of her land. She glared down at Izzie, who gulped, but then Sloan and the security guys came bolting up the path, so Izzie hid behind Meredith, deeming her the lesser of two evils.

"You there, dark and twisty!" yelled Sloan.

"Yes?" Meredith frowned. The security guys cowered behind Sloan.

"By order of Sydney Herron, I demand that you step away from that woman so we can arrest her and have her escorted to a designated resettlement facility." Throughout this speech, Sloan had been becoming less and less confident, as Meredith continued to stare him down. She glanced at Izzie, wide-eyed and frightened, and couldn't help feeling a little sorry for her. Just because she was dark and twisty didn't mean she was heartless.

"Really?" she smirked, turning back to Mark. "You and what army?" Mark turned, and seeing that his back up had abandoned him, he screamed and fled. Meredith turned and began to walk away, back towards her house. Izzie stared after Mark for a second, then chuckled, following Meredith.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? You were really great back there, seriously."

"Are you talking to.." Meredith turned, annoyed at being followed, only to find Izzie apparently gone. "Me?" she shrugged, then almost jumped out of her skin when she discovered Izzie had come around to stand right in front of her.

"I was talking to you!" Izzie grinned. "You were awesome back there, really. There was Mark Sloan and those other creeps thinking they were so great, then you come in, and BOOM! They're tripping over themselves like a bunch of interns on their first day! It was good to see Sloan get taken down a notch, he needed it."

"Really? Great" said Meredith sarcastically.

"It's so good to be free!"

"In that case" said Meredith, starting to get annoyed, "Why don't you go find your own friends and celebrate your freedom with them?" Izzie paused for a moment, thinking about George, then sighed sadly.

"I uh, don't really have any friends right now" she said, shuddering as she looked down the road. "And I can't go back there, now that they know I'm all bright and shiny.." she paused again, then grinned as an idea came to her. "Hey, maybe I should stick with you! You're all dark and twisty, and I grew up in a trailer park, so I'm tougher than I look. We could easily scare the crap out of anybody who crosses us!" Meredith turned around, glaring.

"GO AWAY!" she growled, hoping to scare Izzie off. The blonde resident looked shocked for a second, but was soon beaming again.

"Whoa, that was a good one!" she laughed, while Meredith groaned. "I nearly jumped right out of my skin! But seriously girl, you need to get some mouthwash because your breath stinks!" Spotting Meredith heading quickly into the distance, trying to lose her, Izzie ran to catch up. "It reminds me of this time me and George.." Meredith clapped a hand over Izzie's mouth, trying to silence her, but Izzie kept talking through it, so Meredith sighed and released her. "..And there was _so much_ garlic, we both smelt pretty bad that day, I can tell you!"

"Why are you following me?" Meredith snapped.

"It's simple really" Izzie took a deep breath, and Meredith was overcome with a feeling that whatever followed the breath was not going to be good. Then, the bubbly blonde resident began to sing. "_'Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride meeee... But you gotta have friends!"_

"Stop singing!" yelled Meredith, nearly tearing her hair out. "It's no wonder you don't have any friends if you sing like that!"

"Only a true friend could be that honest!" Izzie smiled, while Meredith groaned again. She was really beginning to wish she had just let those guys take Izzie.

"Look, you... shiny happy girl. Look at me! What am I?"

"Uh.." Izzie frowned, looking Meredith over. "Really short?"

"No!" Meredith yelled. "I'm dark and twisty! Broken! Damaged goods! Doesn't any of that bother you?"

"No" Izzie replied.

"Really?" asked Meredith, a little surprised.

"Really, really" Izzie smiled. "I like you. I'm Izzie, Izzie Stevens. What's your name?"

"Uh.." Meredith paused for a moment, not completely sure she wanted to divulge this information to her rather annoying companion, then shrugged, not seeing any real harm in it. "Meredith."

"Hmm, you know what I like about you Meredith? You've got that 'I don't care what anybody thinks of me' thing going on. I really respect that." The pair reached the driveway of Meredith's house. "Man, this place is kind of run down. Who in their right mind would want to live here?"

"Me" said Meredith, glaring. "This is my home."

"Lovely place it is too" said Izzie sheepishly. "I love what you've managed to do with such an obviously small budget." She realised she was digging herself into a very deep hole, so quickly found something to compliment before following Meredith up the driveway. "I like that gnome, really great gnome." Izzie gulped when she spotted the various 'KEEP OUT' signs littering the front lawn. "Uh.. you don't entertain much do you Mer?"

"I like my privacy" Meredith replied.

"Me too! That's another thing we have in common!" Izzie grinned. "I really hate it when some idiot's bugging you, and you're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave, then there's that big awkward silence afterwards.." Meredith just glared at Izzie, who giggled nervously. "So... can I stay with you?"

"What?" yelled Meredith.

"Can I stay with you?" Izzie repeated. "Please?"

"Sure!" said Meredith in mock-cheerfulness.

"Really?" said Izzie hopefully.

"No."

"Oh come on!" cried Izzie, grabbing Meredith by the shoulders. "You don't know what it's like to be persecuted!" Mereddith once again glared, crossing her arms, and Izzie gulped. "Well maybe you do, but that's why we have to stick together!"

"Fine" Meredith sighed. "But just for tonight."

"Cool!" said Izzie, rushing into the house and jumping right in Meredith's favourite chair.

"Hey!" cried Meredith, running after her.

"This is going to be seriously awesome!" said Izzie, excited. "We'll stay up late catching up on the latest gossip, and in the morning, I'm baking muffins!" Meredith, really annoyed by this point, ground her teeth, while Izzie looked around. "So, uh.. where do I sleep?"

"Outside!" yelled Meredith. "In the chair on the front porch.

"Oh" said Izzie sadly. "Well, I understand I guess, I mean, I don't really know you, you don't know me.. Outside is best." Izzie gave a long, drawn out sigh. "Here I go." As soon as she was out, Meredith slammed the door. Unfortunately, Izzie's voice, though slightly muffled, could still be heard. "I can handle this. I grew up in a trailer park, that's almost outside.." Meredith groaned, as Izzie sang sadly. "_I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me.."_


	3. Invasion Of The Shiny Happy People

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

Later, Meredith was eating dinner alone by candle light. She looked over to the window, seeing Izzie peeking in, and sighed. Meredith did feel a little bad for being so harsh, but she knew that a bright and shiny person like Izzie would be a lot better off without someone like her. Izzie moved away from the window, and Meredith went back to her meal, frowning when she heard footsteps.

"Izzie!" she yelled, standing up. "I thought I told you to stay outside!" Izzie's face reappeared in the window, frowning.

"I am outside."

"Then who.." Meredith frowned, and the frown deepened when she spotted some interns wandering around.

"It's not home, but what choice do we have?" sighed one intern named Pierce.

"It least the couch is comfy" said another one named Megan, bouncing on said couch.

"Get off of there!" growled Meredith lunging at Megan, who quickly got out of the way. Meredith prepared to lunge again, but was soon distracted.

"I found some cheese!" cried Steve, the intern who had seen Izzie fly earlier, as he rummaged through Meredith's fridge, the other interns running over to him. "Eugh, it's mouldy." Meredith marched over to the interns, grabbing them all by the collar.

"What are you doing in my house?!" Then, something bumped into her from behind, forcing her to release the interns. Meredith turned to investigate, seeing two nurses carefully laying their elderly, comatose patient on the dining table. "Oh no! Really old guy off the table!"

"Then where are we supposed to put him?" asked one nurse, Olivia.

"Yeah" said Tyler, the other nurse. "The bed's taken!"

"What?" shrieked Meredith, running to her bedroom. There, she found General surgery attending Doctor Miranda Bailey laying in her bed, reading a magazine.

"What?" Bailey frowned. Meredith, really angry now, grabbed hold of Bailey's arm and hauled her out of bed, dragging her towards the front door.

"I live in a dump, I put up signs, I'm a horrible dark and twisty person! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!" Meredith wrenched the door open and threw Bailey out, but then her eyes widened in horror. "Oh no." Upon further inspection, she found that both her front and backyards had been turned into little tent villages, filled with shiny happy people. It was more than Meredith could stand. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY LAWN?" Everybody fell silent, some shaking as Meredith stared them down. "Get out of here, go on! Shoo, shoo!" Then, a large group of nurses, interns, and dermatology residents ran towards the house. "No, not in there!" Meredith cried. She tried to stop them, but wasn't quick enough. They slammed the door behind them, locking it's one true occupant out. Meredith turned to stare accusingly at Izzie, who was happily greeting George.

"Hey, I didn't invite them!" said Izzie defensively. "I was going to share the chair with George now, but.."

"Nobody invited us" said George, cutting Izzie off. "We were forced to come here."

"By who?" asked Meredith.

"Doctor Sydney Herron" said Jackson Avery, a resident from Mercy West Hospital, who had been sent with his colleagues Reed Adamson, Charles Percy, and April Kepner.

"She smiled, and she laughed, and she... signed the eviction notice" April sighed. Meredith groaned, rubbing her temples, then took a deep breath. There was only one thing to do.

"Okay, does anyone know where this Sydney chick is?"

"I do!" said Izzie.

"Does anyone else know where to find her?" asked Meredith desperately. She _really _didn't want to be stuck on a trip with Izzie for god knows how long. Steve raised his hand, but Megan pulled it back down, glaring at him. "Alright. Listen, all of you. Do not get comfortable! I'm going to go talk to Doctor Herron right now, and tell her to get you all off my land, and back where you came from!" The crowd fell silent for a second, then cheered. "And Izzie" she continued, gesturing towards the blonde, "You're coming with me."

"Alright!" Izzie grinned. "Meredith and Izzie, two stalwart friends off on a great adventure! I love it!" Everyone started throwing confetti and flower petals over Izzie and Meredith as they set off, George wished his friend good luck, and Izzie began to sing once again. "_'On the road again..', _sing it with me Mer!_ 'I can't wait to get on the road again..'_"

"What did I tell you about singing?" Meredith snapped.

"Can I whistle?" asked Izzie.

"No."

"Then can I hum it?" Mostly for the sake of her own sanity, Meredith sighed and relented.

"Okay."

"_Hm hm hmm hm hmm.."_


	4. Perfect Match

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

AN: In this story, let's just say Sydney works at Mercy West, as I have already planned to 'Greysify' the Shrek sequel as well, and have decided to use Seattle Grace as Far Far Away. And if you wouldn't mind suggesting some replacements for the Lord Farquaad 'short' jokes, that would be very helpful :) Also, be warned that this part may seem a little darker than it was in the original movie.

* * *

Not too far away, Doctor Sydney Herron, wannabe chief resident, marched through the hallways of Mercy West Hospital. She strode proudly into a room in the Psych Ward, where a group of security guards were currently dunking the head of some poor bright and shiny doctor into a sink full of water. Mark Sloan stood nearby with his head bowed, unable to look

"That's enough now boys" said Sydney in a sickly sweet voice. "I think Doctor Robbins should be ready to talk now." Mark and a few of the security guards pulled the blonde haired woman, Doctor Arizona Robbins, out of the bucket, then proceeded to tie her into the restraints on the bed so she couldn't escape. Mark felt bad about this really, he felt bad about all the bright and shinies being exiled, and had been secretly glad of an excuse to let Stevens go. But with Arizona his guilt was worse, as before Sydney's reign of terror had begun, she and her girlfriend Callie had been his friends. Callie had been his best friend, and if she could have seen him now he knew for sure that she'd be tearing him a new one. But if anybody suspected that Mark was bright and shiny, he'd be tied down too, and then where would they be? No, as hard as it was, the best thing to do was play along until he found some way to escape, and when he did, he would free Arizona and take her with him. Until then all he could do was wait. The worst part of this was that he knew Arizona didn't blame him for what he was doing. Even now, she was gazing at him with sympathy and forgiveness in her eyes. At least she was until Sydney stepped forward and wagged Arizona's confiscated heelys right in her face. "Not going to get too far without these are you honey?"

"You may act all smiles, but you're nothing but a monster!" Arizona cried. "Where's Calliope? What have you done with her?"

"I'm not a monster sweetie, you are, you and Miranda Bailey and all your other friends trying to keep me from making Chief Resident" Sydney smiled. "As for your little girlfriend, she got away when we caught you." Mark let out a soft sigh of relief. He'd had no idea where Callie was, and, like Arizona, worried that Sydney had her locked away somewhere. "But the boys are still looking, and they always find what they're looking for eventually. If you start talking now they might take it easy on her. If you don't, well.. they won't be in a very good mood. So tell me honey.. Where are the others?" Arizona bit her lip for a second, considering, but then shook her head. Calliope wouldn't want her to give up their friends, and for all she knew, that's where Callie could be hiding.

"Never!" Arizona cried, spitting in Sydney's face. She wiped it away, scowling, and Mark only just managed to stop himself from laughing.

"I try to be reasonable and you do this?" Sydney growled. "Fine then, no more miss nice girl!" She reached over and tried to extract a small teddy bear from the front pocket of Arizona's lab coat.

"No, not the teddy!" cried Arizona. "My patients love Mr Teddy!"

"Well then" said Sydney, turning on a lamp and shining it in Arizona's face. "Tell me who's hiding them! Tell me!"

"Okay" said Arizona, tears streaming down her face. "Do you know.. Desert Storm Barbie?"

"Desert Storm Barbie?" asked Sydney.

"Desert Storm Barbie!" Arizona repeated.

"Yes, I know Desert Storm Barbie.." thought Sydney,"Who lives near Seattle Grace?" Arizona nodded weakly before continuing.

"He served in the army, with Desert Storm Barbie."

"With Desert Storm Barbie?"

"With Desert Storm Barbie!" Arizona shrieked.

"He served in the army, with Desert Storm Barbie.." before Sydney had a chance to finish, another security guard barged into the room.

"Doctor Herron, we found him!"

"Then what are you waiting for?" Sydney grinned. "Bring him in!" Two guards walked into the room, each holding onto one arm of renknowned Cardiothoracic surgeon Doctor Preston Burke.

"Don't tell her anything!" cried Arizona. Sydney motioned to the security guards, who untied the bright and shiny Paediatric surgeon and dragged her off to lock her in a supply closet. Mark was feeling increasingly helpless.

"Okay Doctor Burke" Sydney smiled. "Don't you think I'm doing an absolutely wonderful job as Chief resident?"

"You're not a Chief resident" said Burke. Sydney gestured to Mark, who sighed, pulling out a scrub cap almost identical to Burke's favourite lucky one and tearing it in half. Burke gulped.

"Uh.. what I meant to say is, you're not a Chief resident yet" he continued. "But you can become one. All you have to do is marry attending, it'd be great social collateral."

"Really?" said Sydney.

"Yeah" said Burke, turning on the TV, and placing a disc in the DVD player. "So Doctor Herron, sit back and relax because it's time to meet your three eligible bachelors!" He picked up the remote and pressed play. Mark almost fainted when an image of himself appeared on the screen. "Bachelor #1: He sleeps with all the nurses and he's really sleazy, but you could be the one to tame him! Give it up for, Mark Sloan!" Sydney turned to Mark, considering him. Mark was starting to wish he_ had _gone with the other bright and shinies. "Bachelor #2 is a trauma surgeon who's spent the last couple of years in Iraq treating soldiers. Please welcome, Owen Hunt!" A picture of a redhaired man in a soldier's uniform appeared on the screen. Then, when Burke flicked over to the final picture, Mark's jaw dropped. It was Derek Shepherd, his best friend who he hadn't seen since a disgruntled patient who happened to have magical powers had cursed him a few years before. "Bachelor #3 is a McDreamy neurosurgeon trapped in an evil spawn guarded hospital surrounded by mountains of medical waste! But don't let that cool you off, he also likes ferry boats and Seattle rain! Yours for the rescuing, Doctor Derek Shepherd!" Burke paused, letting Sydney think over her choices. "So Doctor Herron, who will it be? Bachelor #1, Bachelor #2, or Bachelor #3?" Sydney bit her lip, unable to decide.

"3, 3!" cried Mark, wanting his friend to be rescued.

"Um.. 3!" said Sydney.

"Doctor Herron" said Burke, flicking back to Derek's photo. "You've chosen, Derek Shepherd."

"Doctor Shepherd.. yes, he's perfect" Sydney grinned. "I just need to find someone to deal with the rescuing part

"I should probably mention this little thing that happens at night.." said Burke. Sydney ignored him.

"I'll marry Derek, and Mercy West will have the perfect Chief resident!"

"But after sunset.." Burke was still ignored. Sydney gestured to a guard.

"You, round up the residents! We're going to have a tournament!"


	5. Welcome To Mercy West

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

AN: I was going to mention this at the end of the last chap but forgot. The little sub-plot I set up about Callie being missing will carry over to the sequel.

* * *

"Here it is, Mercy West!" said Izzie, feeling very proud of herself, as she and Meredith approached the hospital's car park. "I told you I could find it."

"Yeah, you really came through Iz" said Meredith, looking over to the huge hospital looming just ahead. "So this is where Sydney works huh?"

"Yeah."

"It's pretty big. Do you think maybe she's compensating for something?" Meredith chuckled to herself, but then noticed the puzzled look on Izzie's face, knowing she didn't get the joke, and sighed, moving forward. Izzie stayed behind for a second, wondering what Meredith was talking about, but then spotted her friend heading towards some rope barriers marking where the queue for the ticket booth, which unbeknownst to them had been set up for Sydney's tournament.

"Hey, wait up Mer!" she called, running to catch up. Standing in the ticket booth was a man wearing a labcoat and giant replica of Sydney's head.

"Excuse me" Meredith asked, "Can you tell us where to find Doctor Herron?" Instead of answering, the man froze, then shrieked in terror, running through the cue. "Hey, come back, Iwont hurt you!" He continued to run, and then, the giant head obscuring his vision, he crashed into a wall, knocking himself out. Meredith sighed again, then headed to the turnstile gates behind the ticket booth. She walked through with out any trouble, but turned a few seconds later to see that Izzie had somehow got herself stuck, and ended up tumbling over the turnstile and landing face first on the ground. She looked up at Meredith, grinning. Meredith rolled her eyes, but then stooped to help Izzie up. Though she would never say so, the bright and shiny blonde was beginning to grow on her. The pair then walked through the entrance of the hospital. Strangely, everything seemed to be completely deserted. "It's quiet" Meredith frowned. "Too quiet."

"Hey, look at this!" cried Izzie, rushing over to a strange looking booth marked 'Reception' and pressing a button. A curtain opened revealing a bunch of tiny wooden nurses who began to sing.

_"Welcome to Mercy West, such a perfect town._

_Here we have some rules, let us lay them down._

_Don't make waves, stay in line, and we'll get along fine,_

_Mercy West is a perfect place._

_Please keep gloves on your hands,_

_Shine your shoes, wipe your.."_

The tiny nurses bent over with their butts in the air, making it look as if they were about to say something inappropriate.

_"..face. Mercy West is, __Mercy West is, _

_Mercy West is a perfect place!"_

Suddenly, a flashbulb went off, and a photograph of Meredith and Izzie with 'what the hell?' looks on their faces popped out from the bottom of the booth as the curtain closed. These were the exact expressions Izzie and Meredith wore at that moment. A few seconds later Izzie smiled, reaching out for the button.

"Let's do that again!"

"No!" cried Meredith, grabbing Izzie's hand. "Just.. no." Suddenly, a trumpet was heard from somewhere in the hospital.

--

The trumpet had come from the nearby cafeteria, where the tournament was going to be held. Sydney was about to give a speech to the assembled residents, as well as some nurses and interns who had just come to watch.

"My dear residents, you have been called here today because you are the best and bravest in the hospital. Today, one of you shall prove your worth.." she began. Following the direction the trumpet had come from, Meredith and Izzie were now walking down the hall that led to the cafeteria. Izzie was humming the song from the reception booth, driving Meredith nuts.

"I swear Iz, you're about this close to getting a slap in the face!" she snapped.

"Sorry" said Izzie sheepishly. As the pair got closer to the cafeteria, they could hear Sydney's speech.

"The champion of today's tournament will have be given the honour, no, the privilege, of rescuing the handsome Doctor Derek Shepherd from the keep of the horrible evil spawn! If for any reason the winner is not sucessful, they will be replaced by the first runner up.. and so on and so forth" she added under her breath. Meredith, now listening from a shadowy spot at the back of the cafeteria, was quickly beginning to dislike Sydney Herron. At first Mer had been worried that Izzie would talk and give up their hiding place before she was ready, but thankfully, she remained quiet. She did not want Mark, who was standing dutifully, if a little uncomfortably, beside Sydney, to see her. "It is possible that some of you may die" Sydney continued, "But this is a sacrifice that I am willing to make." The crowd of residents remained silent, until Mark held up a sign that said 'Cheer'. "Let the tournament begin!" Meredith chose this moment to step out of the shadows, and the crowd gasped in horror. "Ugh, she's hideous!" cried Sydney.

"That's not very nice" Meredith frowned, glancing at Izzie. "I'm sure her blonde hair is at leas partly natural."

"Hey!" said Izzie, offended.

"New plan!" cried Sydney. "Whoever captures the dark and twisty person will be named champion, go get her!" The residents turned menacingly towards Meredith, beginning to back her and Izzie up against the counter, with scalpels in hand.

"We are in big trouble" said Izzie.


	6. Dark And Twisty People Have Layers

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

"Oh, come on" Meredith chuckled nervously, filling a cup with coffee from the machine on the counter they had been backed into. "Can't we settle this over a cappucino?" The residents continued to advance, a murderous look in their eyes. "No? Okay then, looks like we're gonna have to do this the hard way." Meredith chugged her cup of coffee and then used the cup to smash the machine, sending coffee spewing all over the floor and the residents to slip around. She then grabbed a mop from behind the counter and charged through the residents, knocking quite a few down, before calling back to Izzie. "This might be a good time to show off those trailer park fighting skills you were talking about!"

"I, uh, may have been slightly exaggerating!" Izzie called back.

"Well at least do something!" Meredith yelled, striking another resident with her mop. Izzie bit her lip, wondering what to do. Then she saw the trash can, and got an idea. A few seconds later, Meredith turned to see Izzie rolling along on the trash can, knocking over more residents and leaving a trail of rubbish as she went. But then the remaining residents chased Meredith into a boxing ring that had been set up for the tournament, unfortunately causing her to drop her mop. Thankfully, it just so happened that Meredith watched a lot of wrestling. She bounced herself off the ropes, knocking two residents down. She then proceeded to perform a host of different wrestling moves on the others.

"Tag me Mer, tag me!" cried Izzie, climbing up onto the edge of the ring after Meredith had grabbed one resident in a headlock. She dragged him over to Izzie, who knocked him out with a headbutt. Then, something strange happened. The crowd began to cheer for Meredith. Meredith had never been cheered for before. It felt nice. She climbed up on top of the ropes and waved to the crowd. "Meredith, look out!" cried Izzie. One of the few remaining residents had tried to sneak up on her from behind. Meredith turned, leapt from the top of the ring and body slammed them. Sydney groaned, slapping her forehead as she watched all her residents be defeated by that dark and twisty woman and her bright and shiny friend. How did a dark and twisty person even get a bright and shiny friend?

"The chair, give him the chair!" cried a nurse. Izzie handed Meredith a chair, which she used to whack over the back of the body slammed resident when he tried to get up. No more residents came. Izzie kicked the trash can, which one unfortunate resident had been stuffed into, sounding the end of the match. Meredith climbed out of the ring, waving to the cheering crowd.

"Thank you, thank you! I'm here 'til Thursday, try the veal!" Meredith's happiness was short-lived, as she and Izzie suddenly found themselves surrounded, with all the security guard's guns trained on them. The crowd fell silent.

"Should we try the coffee thing again?" Izzie whispered.

"No Iz, that's really the type of thing that only works once, if at all" Meredith replied.

"Should I give the order Doctor Herron?" the head security guard asked Sydney.

"Not just yet" Sydney grinned, a plan forming in her mind. "Employees of Mercy West, I give you our champion!"

"What?" said Meredith, confused, as the crowd began to cheer once again.

"Dark and twisty girl.." Sydney began, before Izzie, regaining her confidence now that her life did not appear to be in any immediate danger, interrupted.

"Her name is Meredith."

"Meredith, then" Sydney continued. "As a reward for your success you will be given the honour of embarking on a great and noble quest.."

"Quest?" cried Meredith, annoyed. "I'm already on a quest, a quest to get my land back!"

"_Your_ land?" said Sydney, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, where you dumped all those bright and shiny people!"

"Well honey, this hospital owns the deed to that land" said Sydney, grinning. "But I think we can come to some sort of arrangement. If you go on thi s quest for me, I'll be more than happy to give your land back to you."

"And the shiny happy squatters?" asked Meredith.

"As good as gone" Sydney smiled. Meredith paused to think for a moment before answering.

"What kind of quest?"

--

"Let me see if I've got this straight" said Izzie, frowning, a little while after they had left Mercy West. "You have to go fight some evil spawn thing and rescue an attending just so Doctor shiny happy bitch will give you back your land, which really shouldn't be hers to give away because she filled it up with bright and shinies in the first place, is that it?"

"You know, maybe there's a good reason people shouldn't be bright and shiny all the time" said Meredith, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you really don't have to come with me Iz, you've done your bit.."

"Are you kidding?" Izzie chuckled. Meredith groaned. "I can't leave you alone now, we're a team! But what I don't get is Mer, why didn't you pull all that dark and twisty stuff like you did on me? You know, throttle her, lay siege to her clinic, tear her to pieces, stuff like that?"

"Oh" Meredith began, annoyed. "So you think I should go sleep with a bunch of men I can never commit to, perform a whole lot of unnecessary surgeries, is that good for you?"

"Actually, no" said Izzie.

"Look, there's a lot more to dark and twisty people than you think" Meredith sighed.

"Like what?"

"Uh.." Meredith thought for a moment, then spotted an old onion by the side of the road and picked it up. "Dark and twisty people are like onions!"

"You mean they stink?"

"Ye.. no!"

"Oh, they make you cry!"

"No!"

"I get it now, if you leave them in the sun they go all brown and sprout little white hairs!"

"No, no, no!" Meredith yelled. "Dark and twisty people have layers! Onions have layers, I have layers, got it?"

"Oh, you have layers" said Izzie. She paused for a minute, thinking, then ran to catch up with Meredith. "Not everybody likes onions... Cakes! Everybody loves cakes, Mer, cakes have layers."

"I don't care what everyone likes Izzie" said Meredith with a warning look. "Dark and twisty people are not like cakes!"

"You know what else everybody likes?" said Izzie, once again not taking the hint "Parfait. I mean, have you ever heard anyone say they don't like pafait? I sure haven't. Parfaits are delicious."

"No!" growled Meredith, grabbing Izzie by the collar. "No, you stupid, annoying, irritating woman! Dark and twisty people are like onions, end of story, bye bye, see you later!" Meredith dropped Izzie and continued on. Izzie remained silent for second, then ran to catch up again.

"Personally, I like muffins best. Muffins have to be the greatest things on the planet.." as Izzie rambled on about muffins, Meredith began to wish she had just let her keep humming the Mercy West song.


	7. The Evil Spawn

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

After a few days travel, the pair were close to the abandoned hospital.

"Geez, Mer!" cried Izzie. "Next time warn me when your gonna let one rip okay? My mouth was open and everything!"

"That wasn't me!" said Meredith, sniffing the air. "It's antiseptic, we must be getting close."

"Antiseptic?" Izzie frowned, as she and Meredith climbed a rocky hill. "I'm a doctor, and I know what I just smelt was not antiseptic."

"It smells a little different because it's mixed with blood and stuff, but it is" said Meredith. They reached the top of the hill, and gasped. They had reached the abandoned hospital, but it was on an isolated chunk of land surrounded by huge piles of medical waste. The only way to get across to it was an old rope bridge that looked like it was on its last legs. "It seems nice enough, but look at the location" Meredith chuckled. Once again, Izzie didn't get the joke. Meredith sighed and headed down the hill, towards the bridge. Izzie spotted a skeleton by the side of the hill and yelped before following her.

"Hey Mer, you know all that stuff you said about layers?" she asked chuckling nervously.

"Yeah."

"Well uh, I've got a confession to make. See, bright and shiny people don't have layers, we tend to wear our emotions on our sleeves."

"Like I hadn't worked that out already.." mumbled Meredith. She was about to step out onto the bridge, when she looked back to see Izzie, shaking slightly. "Hang on.. Izzie, are you afraid of heights?"

"No" said Izzie defensively. "I'm just a little uncomfortable about walking on a rickety bridge over mountains of unsterilised medical waste!" Meredith sighed, then put a comforting hand on Izzie's shoulder.

"Don't worry Iz, I'll be right there beside you the whole time, for emotional support. We'll do this together, one little baby step at a time."

"Really?" said Izzie.

"Really, really" replied Meredith, genuinely smiling at Izzie for the first time.

"Okay, I should be alright now" said Izzie. Meredith stepped out onto the bridge, with Izzie just in front of her.

"Just remember, whatever you do, don't look down!" Meredith called to her.

"Don't look down, don't look down" Izzie repeated to herself, fixing her eyes on the hospital at the end of the bridge. "Just keep moving, and don't look down." They had made it about halfway across, when a plank fell from under Izzie's foot, tearing her gaze from the hospital to the mountains of medical waste below. "Mer, I'm looking down!" She turned around to face Meredith. "I don't think this is such a good idea, maybe we should go back."

"But we're already halfway!" Meredith frowned, annoyed.

"At least I know that half is safe!"

"Look Iz, I don't have time for this" said Meredith. "If you want to go back, go back." She tried to push past Izzie, shaking the bridge a little in the process.

"Meredith, don't do that!" Izzie yelped.

"What?" Meredith grinned wickedly as an idea came over her, and she shook the bridge again. "This?"

"Yes that!" cried Izzie. "Don't do that!"

"Do it?" said Meredith, pretending she had misheard. "Okay." She shook the bridge once more.

"Mer, stop that!" Izzie took a few steps backwards.

"But you said do it!" Meredith grinned, continuing to shake the bridge as Izzie continued backing away.

"Please Mer, the bridge is gonna break, and we'll fall and.. oh!" Izzie opened her eyes, which she had squeezed shut, when she felt her feet on solid ground.

"That'll do, Iz" said Meredith, tapping her on the shoulder as they headed into the hospital. "That'll do."

--

Almost as soon as they had entered, Izzie spotted the skeleton of a long dead resident. She squeaked and chased after Meredith.

"You scared Mer? 'Cause I'm not. Although, fear is a perfectly sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. If I'm in a hospital with a terrible evil spawn, it doesn't mean I'm a coward if I'm scared.."

"Two words, Izzie" said Meredith, turning to the blonde. "Shut...up. Now go and find us some stairs."

"Stairs?" asked Izzie, confused. "But aren't we looking for Doctor Shepherd?"

"Yes, he'll be up the stairs, in the highest room in the hospital."

"How do you know that?"

"I read it in a book once" said Meredith a little awkwardly. "Now go, stairs!"

"Stairs, got it" Izzie repeated as she and Meredith headed off in opposite directions. "You take care of the Evil spawn, I'll handle the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll kick their butt too.."

--

While Izzie searched for the stairs, Meredith, fighting against the slightly morbid feeling it gave her, took a scrub cap, surgical mask, and scalpel from a fallen resident. She put the mask and cap on, then tucked the scalpel into her pocket, and began to look around for the Evil spawn.

--

"The stairs don't know what they have coming! I'll kick it to the curb!" Izzie continued to talk to herself. "I'm the stair master, the master of the stairs!" Izzie sounded confident as she said this, but unbeknownst to her, a pair of deep brown eyes were gazing at her through a door..

--

While Meredith continued her on search, she spotted one lone lit-up window on the top level.

"Well, at least I know where Doctor Shepherd is. But where's the..."

"EVIL SPAWN!" Izzie screamed after she had spotted the Evil spawn's eyes. She sped over to Meredith, with said Evil spawn right behind her. Now that she saw it, Meredith didn't actually see what the big deal was. The Evil spawn was just a giant human. Sure, the huge wings and tail were slightly alarming, but it's face was kind of handsome. Izzie had thought this herself, until she'd realised she was in fact looking at the Evil spawn. Then it growled, and the two women were snapped back to reality. Meredith ran around and grabbed hold of the evil spawn's tail.

"Got you!" she yelled. The Evil spawn growled louder, and began swinging it's tail to get Meredith off. It sent her flying through the air, screaming, and crashing through a window in the distance.

"Meredith!" Izzie screamed. The Evil spawn continued to growl. "Please don't kill me" Izzie whimpered. "Uh.. what large teeth you have!" The evil spawn stopped growling and cocked it's head, looking puzzled. "I mean, white shiny teeth. And do I detect a slight hint of minty freshness?" Izzie giggled. "I know you must get this from all your victims, but for an evil spawn, your actually kind of cute." Once again, like many times on that journey, a strange thing happened. The evil spawn smiled. It bent down and gently scooped Izzie into its giant palms, lifting her up to his eye level.

"That's just about the nicest thing anybody's ever said about me" it grinned. "I'm Alex."

"Wow, you're a talking evil spawn!" Izzie gasped, before quickly correcting herself. "I mean, of course you're a talking evil spawn, cause your just dripping with intelligence! Uh.. I'm Izzie."

"Izzie" Alex smiled as he began to carry her away. "I think your kind of cute too." _Uh-oh_, Izzie thought.

"Meredith!"


	8. Meredith To The Rescue

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

Of course, the window that Alex had hurled Meredith through happened to be Doctor Derek Shepherd's window. Derek, who was lying in a hospital bed feigning sleep, cracked one eye open and glanced over at Meredith as she stood up, groaning, before quickly closing it again. Meredith carefully tried to brush the splinters of glass off of herself then walked over to the bed. So this was Derek Shepherd. Sydney was right, he was definitely handsome. McDreamy was the word Meredith would have used.. she shook her head ridding her mind of these thoughts. Derek puckered his lips, preparing for a kiss, but was sorely disappointed when Meredith grabbed hold of his shoulders, roughly shaking him awake.

"What?" he snapped, annoyed.

"Are you Doctor Shepherd?" Meredith asked.

"Yes" said Derek, smiling. "As a matter of fact I am. I've spent the last couple of years trapped in this hospital waiting for a resident brave enough to rescue me."

"Great" said Meredith, grabbing Derek's arm and pulling him towards the door. "Let's go."

"Wait!" said Derek, trying to free himself from Meredith's grip. "This is our first meeting. Shouldn't it be a wonderful, romantic moment in our lives?"

"No time for that, sorry" said Meredith.

"Well will you at least sweep me out the window and down a rope to where you parked your car?" Derek asked, frowning.

"No, I didn't bring a car" said Meredith. "And even if I did there's no way we could have got it over the bridge.. You've had a lot of time to think about this haven't you?"

"Mm-hm" Derek nodded. Meredith threw the door open and headed down a nearby stairwell, dragging Derek behind her. "Oh come on!" cried the attending, frustrated. "We have to savour this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me! A ballad? A sonnet?" Noticing his rescuer wasn't going for any of these ideas, Derek began to get desperate. "A limerick, anything!"

"Uh, no" said Meredith.

"Well can you at least tell me your name?" said Derek, frowning and crossing his arms when they had reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Uh.. Meredith. Meredith Grey."

"Doctor Grey" Derek flashed a McDreamy smile, glad that he finally seemed to be getting somewhere. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. "Please take this as a token of my appreciation.

"Thanks" Meredith took the handkerchief and used it to wipe the sweat from her brow before handing it back to Derek, who frowned. Suddenly, a familiar growl was heard, though it seemed to be a slightly more playful growl than either Derek or Meredith had heard before. It was actually kind of amorous.

"You didn't slay the Evil spawn?!" Derek cried.

"I was getting to it!" Meredith snapped, heading off in the direction the growl had come from.

"But you were supposed to charge in, scalpel drawn, banner flying.. that's what all the other residents did!"

"Yeah," said Meredith, gesturing to a skeleton, "Right before they ended up dead!" Derek rolled his eyes and followed Meredith, until he realised a small problem.

"Hang on, where are you going?" He pointed in the opposite direction to the one that he and Meredith were heading in. "The exit's that way!"

"I know" said Meredith. "But I have to help the pain in my ass." She was, of course, referring to Izzie, but Derek had no way of knowing this. If it hadn't taken so long for the first one to reach him, he would have strongly considered heading back up to his room and waiting for a more normal resident to come along.

"What kind of resident are you?" he yelled, having no choice but to follow her. Meredith turned, grinning through her mask.

"One of a kind."

--

After telling Derek to wait outside, Meredith crept into the room where the growl had come from. She quickly identified it as once being a neo-natal ward, as a number of upended(thankfully empty, and no tiny skeletons in sight) humidicribs lay strewn over the floor. In the centre of the room sat the Evil spawn. It had Izzie nestled in the crook of one arm, cradling her as if she were a baby.

"You know Alex, I think we should probably slow this down a bit" Izzie chuckled nervously. "It'd be better if we got to know each other over a longer period of time, don't you think?"

"I think you're just playing hard to get" Alex grinned. Izzie gulped

"It's not that. I just don't want to jump it into a relationship right now. I don't think I'm emotionally ready for a relationship of this magnitude. See, not too long ago I fell in love with a heart transplant patient, and he asked me to marry him, and mistakes were made which may or may not have involved the cutting of an LVAD wire..." At this point, Alex reached over and stroked Izzie's cheek. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" cried Izzie. "That is unwanted physical contact Alex, stop that!"

"Sorry" said Alex, although Meredith, from her viewing point, did not think the evil spawn looked sorry at all.

"Maybe we should get to know each other as friends first, or pen pals" Izzie continued. "See, I'm on the road a lot right now but I love getting postcards.." Meanwhile, Meredith spotted a chain hanging from a chandelier on the roof. Normally, Meredith would have been wondering why the hell there was a chandelier on the roof of a hospital, but now she just decided to try and use the chain to her advantage. She grabbed onto it, climbed a little way up, then swung over Alex and Izzie, unseen by either of them, and tried to catch hold of whichever part of Izzie she could reach as she passed. She missed, which was really quite fortunate for Izzie as Meredith would have most likely grabbed onto her hair. Meredith swung back, preparing to try again, then swung and knocked Izzie out of the way just as Alex, eyes closed, leaned in to kiss her. Unfortunately, the chandelier gave out and fell from the roof, falling like a collar arouund Alex's neck. Meredith fell into the place where Izzie had been, her pants fell down, and Alex kissed her bare butt. The Evil spawn's eyes shot open, realising what had happened, and he growled angrily. Meredith and Izzie sped from the room, with Alex in hot pursuit. Meredith grabbed Derek's hand as they rushed past.

"Hi Doctor Shepherd!" said Izzie, waving cheerfully.

"Uh, hi" Derek replied. "Is that your intern?" he asked Meredith.

"No, she's a resident who just followed me home one day and I've been stuck with her ever since." The trio continued to run around the hospital with Alex still chasing them. The chain around his neck was now zigzagged around everywhere. "You two go!" said Meredith, pulling the scalpel out of her pocket and stricking a heroic pose. "I'll take care of the Evil spawn."

"Don't hurt him too bad Mer" called Izzie, feeling a little guilty, as she and Derek fled. Izzie needn't really have worried, as Meredith's plan did not involve hurting Alex at all. She thrust the scalpel through one of the links in the chain, driving it into the linoleum floor, then ran off after the others. If the scalpel held, then Alex would remain tethered to the hospital, unable to follow them. Meredith caught up with Derek and Izzie just as they had reached the flight of stairs at the hospital exit. With Alex still after them, they slid down the banister to save time. Izzie went first, with Meredith behind her and Derek bringing up the rear. Meredith and Izzie slid down with out any trouble, but a slight kink at the end of the banister caught Derek right in his manly bits. He groaned, tumbling into a heap at the girls feet.

"Ooh" said Izzie and Meredith in unison, wincing.

"It's times like this that make me really glad I was not born a man" said Izzie. Meredith helped Derek to his feet, supporting him, and they ran for the exit with Alex not too far behind. They got as far as halfway across the bridge when the ropes snapped. Everybody managed to hold on, but as they slammed into the rocks at the other end Izzie lost her grip and fell, screaming, but luckily Meredith managed to grab her by the back of her pants just in time. They climbed the remains of the bridge as if it were a ladder, climbing up onto the rocks at the top, then quickly fleeing down the hill. Alex tried to fly after them, straining against his chain to no avail.

"Wait!" he called sadly after them. "Please come back.."

--

Derek made it safely down the other side of the hill. Izzie tripped on a rock and tumbled down to the bottom.

"You are amazing!" said Derek, beaming. "You did it! You rescued me! You're wonderful, you're.." Derek turned just in time to see Meredith tumble down the hill, landing on top of Izzie. "Well, you're methods were a little unothodox I'll admit, but you're deed was great and you're heart is pure. I'm forever indebted to you Doctor Grey."

"Hmph" Izzie pouted and crossed her arms, while Meredith brushed the dirt from her pants.

"Oh.. and uh, where would a brave resident be without a loyal friend?" Derek added.

"Hear that Mer?" Izzie grinned, nudging Meredith with her elbow. "He called me loyal. He thinks I'm a loyal friend!"

"You've won the battle" Derek continued. "You can take off your mask and scrub cap now, Doctor Grey."

"Maybe later" said Meredith, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Why?" Derek frowned.

"Uh.." said Meredith, trying to think of an excuse. "Scrub cap hair! It's not a pretty sight, trust me."

"What about your mask then? I have to see the the face of the woman who rescued me!" said Derek.

"I really don't think you do."

"But then.. how will I kiss you?"

"Kiss me?!" spluttered Meredith, eyebrows shooting up. She turned to Izzie. "That wasn't in the job description!"

"Oh come on, it's a classic story!" said Derek. "Somebody trapped in some building guarded by a monster is rescued by their soulmate, and then" he sighed, "They share true love's first kiss.."

"Wait a minute" said Izzie, starting to catch on. "You think Meredith is your true love?"

"Well.. yes" said Derek. Meredith and Izzie glanced at each other, then burst out laughing.

"He think's you're his true love, Mer, ha!" Izzie was now rolling on the ground in fits of giggles.

"What's so funny?" Derek frowned, getting annoyed.

"Well, I should probably tell you Doctor Shepherd" Izzie sat up, trying to compose herself. "Mer's really not your type."

"She has to be" said Derek, turning to Meredith. "Take off your mask."

"I'm warning you, this isn't a good idea.." said Meredith.

"Just take it off!"

"I'm not going to."

"Do it!"

"No."

"NOW!" Derek growled.

"Fine then!" Meredith snapped. "As you wish, Doctor Shepherd." She pulled off her surgical mask, and her scrub cap, shaking down her hair. Derek gasped. Of course he thought Meredith was beautiful, but there was a certain distinctive air that hung around dark and twisty people, which Derek recognised right away.

"You're.. dark and twisty. This is all wrong!" Derek cried. "You're not supposed to be dark and twisty!"

"Look Derek" said Meredith, feeling a little sorry for him, "We were sent to rescue you by Doctor Sydney Herron, she's the one who wants to marry you."

"Then why didn't she come rescue me herself?"

"That's a good question" said Meredith, beginning to head off down the road. "Why don't you ask her when we get there?"

"But I was supposed to be rescued by my true a love!" Yelled Derek. "Not some Dark and twisty girl and a.. a dumb blonde!"

"Hey, I resent that!" Izzie snapped, frowning. "So much for loyal friend.."

"You're not making my job any easier here Derek" Meredith sighed.

"That's not my problem." Derek sat down on a rock, crossing his arms. "You go tell this Doctor Herron that if she wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting right here!" Meredith was reaching the end of her patience. It was time to really let the dark and twisty out.

"Hey, I'm no messenger girl, Doctor Shepherd, I'm a delivery girl!" she growled at Derek. "Izzie, I'm gonna need a hand."

"But he's an attending Mer!" Izzie said nervously, beginning to realise Meredith's plan. "We can't just go manhandling an attending!"

"Izzie, I saved you from Sloan, I let you stay at my house, and I just rescued you from being the Evil spawn's little love toy. You owe me. Big time."

"Technically, you only let me stay on your porch.." Meredith glared at her, and Izzie gulped. "Okay, okay, I'll help!" As the two residents advanced him, one looking angry and one remorseful, Derek began to get a little nervous.

"Uh, what are you doing?" His question was answered when Meredith and Izzie seized him and hauled him over their shoulders. "Hey! Put me down, put me down now!"

"Sorry, Doctor Shepherd!" said Izzie.

"Put me down, put me down!" Derek repeated, kicking and flailing as they headed down the road. "This is no way to treat an attending! Put me down!"


	9. More Than They Appear

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

Eventually, Derek stopped struggling and slumped over the girl's shoulders, looking bored.

"Another question, Doctor Shepherd" said Izzie. At some point they had turned Derek so he was facing forward, and Izzie had been chatting away to him ever since. He, unlike Meredith, didn't mind the constant wordflow from the blonde's mouth, as after years alone in an abandoned hospital it was nice to have somebody to talk to. "Suppose there's this guy that likes you, and he's actually kinda cool, but you don't like him the same way. How do you let him down really easily so that his feelings don't get hurt, but you don't get beaten to a pulp and killed?"

"That's easy" Derek replied. "Just tell him he's not your true love. Everyone knows what happens when.."The half of Derek that Meredith was holding slipped slightly, and she roughly hiked him up. "Watch it!" Derek snapped, annoyed. "The sooner we get to Mercy West the better."

"No arguments here" Meredith grumbled under her breath.

"Oh, you're gonna love it there Doctor Shepherd" Izzie grinned, not hearing Meredith's complaints. "They've had a few problems lately, but I'm sure you can help sort it out."

"And what about my bride to be, Doctor Herron.. what's she like?" Derek asked.

"Well, let's put it this way" said Meredith. She gestured to Izzie, and they set Derek down, confident that he wouldn't run. "Sydney likes to bring home the bacon.."

"There are those who've compared her to a pig!" Izzie added, as she and Meredith chuckled. Derek was once again growing very annoyed with his rescuers.

"Oh, stop it! I bet you two are just jealous that you could never measure up to a great Chief resident like Sydney Herron."

"Maybe you're right Derek" Meredith shrugged, as they continued along their current path through the woods. "But I'll let you decide that for yourself when you see her tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Derek yelped. "It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp or something?"

"No, then it'll take longer" Meredith replied. "We keep going."

"But.. but, uh, there could be a private practice in the woods!" Derek cried desperately.

"Private practice?" Izzie echoed, panicking. "I don't like the sound of that Mer. An old mentor of mine joined a private practice a few years back, and I hear she's gone a little nuts."

"Hey, my mental state is much worse than anybody we'll find in these woods" said Meredith. "Now come on.."

"I NEED SOMEWHERE TO CAMP NOW!" Derek screamed.

"Okay, okay, we'll camp" Meredith relented, slightly startled by the attending's sudden outburst. "Geez, no need to get your scrub cap in a knot.."

--

After some searching, they managed to locate a cave with just enough room for one person to comfortably fit inside.

"There you go Doctor Shepherd" said Meredith, motioning for Derek to go inside the cave.

"Come on Mer, I think we can do better than that" Izzie frowned. "This just isn't fit for an attending. Maybe we should try and find that private practice, at least they'd have some beds or a couch maybe, and not everybody who works in them can be insane.."

"The cave is fine!" said Derek, glancing nervously at the setting sun. "It, uh, just needs a few homey touches."

"Homey touches?" Meredith frowned, confused. "Like what?"

"A door" said Derek. He picked up a large piece of bark, entered the cave, and laid the bark over the entrance. "Goodnight Doctor Grey, Doctor Stevens."

"Hey Doctor Shepherd" said Izzie. "I know your a grown man and all, but this is a strange new place, so do you want me to tell you a bedtime story? I know some good ones."

"I said goodnight!" Derek snapped. Meredith frowned. Why did she have to get saddled with a stuck up neurosurgeon like this guy? She spotted a nearby boulder and attempted to roll it over the entrance of the cave.

"Meredith!" cried Izzie, horrified.

"I was only kidding" said Meredith, stepping away from the boulder. "Kind of.."

--

Later that night, Izzie and Meredith were lying in the grass looking up at the stars. Meredith was pointing out some constellations.

"That's my mother, Ellis."

"Ellis.. you mean Ellis Grey, the famous surgeon?" Izzie asked. Meredith nodded, and Izzie's eyes widened. "Ellis Grey was your mom?"

"Yeah.. great surgeon, not really a great mother" Meredith replied. Izzie fell silent for a moment, for once seeming to respect that this was a sensitive subject, before moving on to her next question.

"So, what kind of future do you get from the stars anyway?"

"The stars don't tell the future Izzie, they tell stories" Meredith explained, pointing to another constellation. "That's the Alcoholic Chief. You can guess what he's famous for."

"Oh come on, now you're just making things up" said Izzie.

"No I'm not, look" said Meredith, pointing again. "There he is, and there's the group of board members coming to fire him."

"It only looks like a bunch of little dots to me" Izzie frowned.

"You know Iz, sometimes things are more than they appear." Meredith only recieved yet another confused look in reply, and sighed. "Never mind."

"So Mer, what are we gonna do when he get our house back?"

"_Our _house?" Meredith frowned, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Yeah" Izzie smiled, mirroring her actions. "After we get Doctor Shepherd back to Sydney and stuff."

"Izzie, there is no _we_, there is no _our_" Meredith found herself feeling a little guilty when the blonde's face fell, but tried to ignore it. "There's just _me_ and _my_ house. And the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is build a huge fence around my land."

"That hurts, Mer" said Izzie sadly. "It really hurts." She paused for a moment. "You know, I kinda think this whole fence thing is just a way to keep somebody out."

"No! You think?" said Meredith sarcastically, turning to face away from Izzie.

"Are you hiding something?"

"Forget it, I don't want to talk about it."

"Is this another one of those onion things?" asked Izzie confused.

"No, it's one of those 'drop it and leave it alone' things!" Meredith snapped, sitting up.

"Why don't you want to talk about it?" said Izzie.

"What made you think I wanted to talk about it?" Meredith shot back.

"You're blocking" said Izzie, catching on.

"I'm not blocking!"

"Yeah you are!"

"This is your only warning Iz.." Meredith growled.

"Who are you trying to keep out Mer?" Izzie cut her off. "Who?" For Meredith, this was the final straw.

"EVERYONE!" she screamed. Izzie paused for a moment.

"Well now we're getting somewhere!" She grinned. Just behind the two women, the bark door of Derek's cave slid open a crack, and a bloodshot blue eye peeked out.

"Just drop it, okay?" Meredith yelled, as she stood and walked a short distance away. Izzie followed her, concerened.

"Geez Mer, what's your problem with the world anyway?"

"I don't have a problem with the world, its the world that has a problem with me" Meredith sighed. "People talk about me. Whenever anyone sees me it's always 'ahh, help, run, a commitment phobic dark and twisty girl!' They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone." Inside the cave, Derek, feeling a little guilty, let out a sigh, then slid the door closed.

"Hey Meredith?" said Izzie quietly. "When we met, I didn't think you were just a commitment phobic dark and twisty girl." A smile spread over the blonde's face. "I thought you were totally kickass." Meredith felt a small smile tugging at her own lips.

"Thanks Izzie." The two residents stood in silence for awhile. Izzie's gaze moved back to the stars.

"So, any bright and shiny people up there?"

"Sure" Meredith smirked. "There's my half-sister, Lexie, the small... and annoying."

"You have a sister?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah. I've never actually met her though." Meredith replied. Seeing that this was a difficult subject for her friend (now, more than ever, they truly felt like friends), Izzie looked back to the sky.

"Oh, I see it! It's the really big shiny one isn't it?"

"Izzie, that's the moon."

"I knew that" Izzie chuckled, giving Meredith a playful shove. "Just messing with you."


	10. Addison And Her Merry Practice

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, or Shrek.

* * *

The next morning, a smiling Derek made his way out of the cave. He glanced over at Meredith and Izzie, still sleeping, before deciding to take a short walk through the woods. He didn't get far before he spotted a little bluebird, singing while it sat on it's nest. It was a little known fact that Derek had taken singing lessons with his sisters when he was young, and so he began to sing along with the bird. Derek's notes rose higher and higher, with the bird trying to match him. Unfortunately, it all became too much for the bluebird's tiny lungs, and it exploded. Derek winced, biting his lip, but his eyes were soon drawn to the eggs that had been left behind in the nest..

--

A little later, Meredith woke to the unusual sight of Derek frying eggs over the embers of last night's fire.

"Mmm, that feel's good, do that again.." Izzie mumbled in her sleep, rolling over and wrapping an arm around Meredith's waist.

"Izzie!" Meredith cried, disgusted. The cry woke the bright and shiny blonde, as well as drawing Derek's attention.

"Morning, ladies" the McDreamy attending smiled. "How do you like your eggs?"

"Morning, Doctor Shepherd!" Izzie grinned.

"Uh.. what's all this for?" asked Meredith, confused.

"Well, we kind of got off on the wrong foot yesterday, and I wanted to make it up to you" said Derek a little guiltily. He handed Meredith and Izzie an egg each, on plastic plates. "You did rescue me after all. Now eat up, we've got a big day ahead of us."

"Oh.. well, thanks" said Meredith awkwardly. She almost felt like she was going to blush, and fought desperately against it. Dark and twisty people did not blush. There would be no blushing. At all. Ever. No siree.

--

After breakfast, the trio continued their journey through the woods. Meredith let out a huge belch.

"Meredith!" Izzie scolded.

"Hey, in some cultures it's considered a compliment" Meredith replied.

"Still, that is no way to behave around an attending!" The blonde's argument was weakened somewhat when Derek burped himself. Izzie and Meredith stared for a moment, shocked.

"Thanks" Derek chuckled, walking on a short distance ahead.

"Geez Mer, he's as nasty as you are!" Izzie frowned. Meredith, shook her head, still a little surprised by Derek's latest display, before heading off after him.

"You know Doctor Shepherd, you're not exactly what I expected." Although truthfully, Meredith hadn't really known what to expect and had only hoped he wasn't a complete chatterbox like Izzie, the only bright and shiny person she had gotten to know up until this point. Derek turned to Meredith, smirking.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them." He once again walked off ahead, leaving Meredith slightly stunned, but she was quickly forced to snap out of it when a figure swung down from a tree and snatched the handsome neurosurgeon away.

"Derek!" Meredith cried, running to the spot where Derek had disappeared, and looking up into the tree he had been swept into, with Izzie close behind. Derek's captor was a red-haired, former head of Neo-natal surgery turned head of a private practice named Addison Montgomery. She was currently attempting to get close and personal with Doctor McDreamy. Izzie, a recent victim of unwanted physical contact herself, felt his pain.

"What do you think you're doing?" cried Derek, struggling to release himself from Addison's grip.

"I'm rescuing you from this dark and twisty.." Addison paused, leaving a trail of kisses up a disgusted Derek's arm. "..bitch."

"Hey!" Meredith snapped. "He's my McDrea.. atttending! Get your own!"

"Get lost!" Addison yelled back, before turning to smirk seductively at Derek. "Can't you see I'm busy with Doctor Shepherd?"

"Eugh!" Derek finally managed to force Addison away from him. "Who do you think you are anyway?"

"How silly of me, I should introduce myself" said Addison, before calling into the trees. "Oh Oceansiders!" Suddenly, Addison's co-workers Violet, Pete, Sam, Dell, Naomi, Cooper, and Charlotte burst from the trees.

_"Ta da da da da, woo!" _They sang. Addison leapt down in front of them.

_"I treat both the rich and the needy!" _she sang, tossing a muffin to a delighted Izzie, while Dell rested an elbow on the blonde's shoulder.

_"Took the practice from Naomi.."_

_"That wasnt my idea!"_ Addison added quickly. _"I save unborn babies, man I'm good!"_

_"What a gal, Addison!" _The members of the practice did a happy little jig before Addison continued.

_"I like an honest fight, and a saucy little mate.."_

_"What she's basically saying is she likes to get.."_ The boys began, before the female members of the practice clapped their hands over their mouths to keep them from saying something completely inappropriate.

_"Paid!"_ At this point, the song became a lot more serious, and Meredith began to worry. _"When a resident in the bush grabs attendings by the tush that's bad!"_

_"That's bad!"_

_"And when McDreamy's with a bitch it makes me awfully mad!"_

_"She's mad, she's really, really mad!" _Echoed the Oceansiders while Addison pulled a scalpel out of her pocket, pointing it straight at Meredith.

_"I'll take my scalpel and ram it through your heart, keep your eyes on me guys, 'cause I'm about to start!" _As the rather insane looking Addison approached, Meredith gulped. This was not good. This was not good at all.


	11. There's A Scalpel In Your Butt!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Just before Addison could carry out her threat on Meredith, Derek came to the rescue.

"Hiya!" he yelled, swinging down from the tree, kicking Addison into another tree and knocking her out while Meredith and Izzie looked on, stunned. "Normally I'd never hit a woman, but that was just so annoying!" Then, the other Oceansiders attacked, using scalpels and various other medical instruments as weapons. Pete was throwing acupuncture needles. Derek managed to dodge all the weapons that were thrown at him and at one point paused matrix like in mid-air, before delivering a double kick to Sam and Dell on either side of him.. Before long, the only Oceansider left standing was Cooper, who, for god only knew what reason, was running around with an accordion. Meredith was really starting to think there was something valid in Izzie's theory that anybody who worked in a private practice was nuts. Finally, Derek punched through the accordion, knocking Cooper out. Izzie and Meredith stood in shocked silence for a moment, then Izzie grinned.

"That was totally awesome!"

"Shall we?" Derek chuckled nervously, running a hand through his still perfect hair as he continued on through the woods.

"Hang on a minute!" Meredith called, running to catch up. "Where did that come from?"

"What?" asked Derek, feigning ignorance.

"That, back there!" said Meredith, pointing to the unconscious Oceansiders scattered a short way behind them. "That was incredible, where did you learn that?"

"Well" said Derek, blushing a little, "When a person lives alone, they should get to know these things in case.." He noticed something behind Meredith, and gasped. "There's a scalpel in your butt!"

"Huh?" Meredith looked behind her to find that there was in fact a scalpel sticking out of her left butt cheek. "Well, look at that."

"This is all my fault" said Derek, feeling guilty.

"Hey, what's up?" Izzie asked as she caught up to the other two.

"Meredith's hurt" replied Derek, concerned.

"What?!" cried Izzie, gasping at the sight of the scalpel. "Mer's hurt! Oh no, Mer's gonna die!"

"Relax Iz, I'm fine.." said Meredith. Izzie ignored her friend's assurances.

"You can't do this to me Meredith!" she cried, grabbing Meredith's collar. "I'm too young for you to die! Keep your legs elevated, turn your head and cough! Does anyone know the Heimlich? Wait I'm a doctor, I know the Heimlich!" Before Izzie could attempt the Heimlich, Meredith pushed her away, frowning.

"Don't you think your overreacting a little?"

"Look Izzie" said Derek, "If you want to help Meredith, go into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns."

"Blue flower, red thorns, got it" said Izzie. "And Mer, If you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!"

"Izzie!" yelled Derek and Meredith in unison, annoyed.

"Okay!" said Izzie, running into the woods. "Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns.."

"Are you sure she's a doctor?" asked Derek, after Izzie was gone. "She seemed a little too worried over something that's really not that bad."

"I really wouldn't know" Meredith shrugged. "Like I said, she just followed me home one day. So, what are the flowers for?"

"For getting rid of Izzie" Derek smirked. "Now hold still so I can yank this thing out.." Derek moved to pull out the scalpel, but Meredith dodged him.

"Whoa, watch it with the yanking!" she yelled. Derek kept trying to grab hold of the scalpel, but Meredith always moved.

"Stop that!" He yelled, annoyed. "It has to come out, it could get infected."

"No, that's a very sensitive area!"

"Hold still!"

"Leave it!"

"Stop moving!"

"What you are doing is the opposite of helping!" Meredith snapped.

"Well do you have any better ideas?" Derek frowned, crossing his arms. Meredith frowned too. He had her on that one.

--

"Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red thorns.." Izzie repeated as she searched. She was, of course, surrounded by these, but didn't seem to notice. "Oh, this would be easy if I wasn't so stressed! Blue flower, red thorns, blue flower, red.." Suddenly, she heard Meredith cry out in the distance, spotted one of the flowers, and grabbed it. "I'm coming Meredith!"

--

"Ouch!" Meredith cried, having decided to let Derek get the scalpel out. "Be careful!"

"Hold on, I can see the blade" said Derek. "It's almost.." He pulled, and Meredith yelped and jerked, falling over and pulling Derek down on top of her. The pair blushed like crazy.

"Ahem." Derek and Meredith looked up to find Izzie smirking at them. "If you two wanted to be alone, all you had to do was ask."

"It's not what it looks like!" said Meredith quickly. "Doctor McDream.. Shepherd was just trying to.. Ouch!" Meredith yelped, turning to see Derek clutching the scalpel and looking very pleased with himself. Izzie suddenly looked very pale.

"Is that blood? 'Cause outside of surgery I.." Izzie fainted. Meredith rolled her eyes, but Derek gently scooped Izzie up, carrying her as they continued through the rest of the woods.


	12. I'm Worried About Izzie!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, Shrek.

* * *

As the day wore on, Meredith and Derek began to grow closer. When the trio reached a river, Meredith managed to bend down a tree so Derek wouldn't get his feet wet. The attending smiled at her, making her blush. Meredith stared dreamily after Derek, and released the tree just as Izzie had begun to cross, sending the blonde flying back to the other side of the river with a thump.

--

A little later, Meredith swatted at a swarm of flies and other insects that were bothering herself and Izzie. Noticing his companion's problem, Derek grabbed two branches that a spider had spun it's web between, and ran around using the web like a net to capture the flies. He tossed the web away and flashed his McDreamy smile at Meredith, once again causing her to blush.

--

Further along the track, Meredith found a toad. The grabbed it and blew it up like a balloon, then tied it up with a piece of grass and handed it to Derek. It was now his turn to blush. Then, he spotted a (thankfully non-venomous) snake, blowing up and tieing it as Meredith had, before handing it to her. They continued along the track, when Derek suddenly gave Meredith a playful shove.

"Hey!" Meredith giggled, shoving him back. Derek ran ahead, laughing, and letting go of his 'balloon animal'. Meredith let go of her own balloon and chased after Derek, feeling happier than she had in a while, while Izzie looked on and followed, smirking.

--

Late that afternoon, they arrived at a windmill on a hill overlooking the surrounding area. Mercy West could now be clearly seen in the distance.

"Well, there it is Doctor Shepherd" Meredith sighed, pointing. "Mercy West."

"So thats's Mercy West huh?" said Derek, staring into the distance. "Wow, it's pretty big."

"Yeah" said Izzie. "Meredith thinks Sydney's compensating for something, which I think means she has really small boo.."

"Izzie!" Meredith snapped, clapping a hand over her friend's mouth. "Uh.. we better get going." As Meredith and Izzie set off, Derek bit his lip. For reasons that even he did not fully understand, he wasn't ready to leave the dark and twisty resident just yet.

"Sure.. but Meredith?" He paused, thinking of an idea. "I'm worried about Izzie!"

"But I feel fine" Izzie frowned.

"That's what they all say" said Derek, grabbing the blonde's shoulders. "But then next thing you know you're on your back." Seeing that Izzie didn't seem to be comprehending this, Derek clarified. "Dead!" Meredith began to get what Derek was trying to do, and joined in. She was about as ready to say goodbye to the McDreamy attending as he was to say goodbye to her.

"He's got a point Iz, you look awful!" she exclaimed. "Do you want to sit down?" Hearing all this talk of her supposedly failing health, Izzie began to believe it.

"I didn't want to say anything before" she panicked, "But I've got this twinge in my neck and when I turn my head it's like.." Izzie turned her head with a sharp clicking sound, and her head became stuck on an angle. "Ow! See?"

"Who's hungry?" asked Meredith. Now that she was sure that she had at least one more night to spend with Derek, the dark and twisty resident had visibly relaxed. "I'll go find us some dinner!"

"And I'll collect some more firewood!" Derek smiled, happy that his plan had suceeded. The pair headed off, leaving a frightened and confused Izzie behind.

"Where are you guys going? You can't just leave me like this! I can't feel my tail!" she panicked and glanced behind her, gasping. "I don't have any tail!" She sat down, sighing sadly. "I think I need a hug..."


	13. Tell Him How You Feel!

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

That evening, as the sun was just beginning to set, they all sat around their fire eating dinner. Izzie, with her apparently quite short attention span, had already forgotten about her supposedly imminent death, and was happily munching away on some muffins and other baked goods that she had stolen from Dell after the fight with the Oceansiders, while Meredith and Derek were eating a pasta dish that Meredith had made.

"This is great!" said Derek as he ate. "What's in this?"

"Well.. this is gonna sound pretty weird" said Meredith, a little embarrassed. "It's peanut butter and tomato sauce."

"Peanut butter and tomato sauce? Eugh" said Izzie, before returning to her muffin.

"I think it's delicious" Derek smiled at Meredith. "You're a great cook."

"Really?" Meredith grinned. "I don't mean to brag, but I'm always coming up with weird yet strangely awesome combinations."

"I guess I'll be dining differently tomorrow night" Derek sighed sadly, looking at Mercy West looming in the distance.

"Well uh, you could come visit me any time" said Meredith, enthusiastic but also a little nervous. "I'll cook you a great meal with whatever I've got in my cupboards."

"I'd like that" Derek smiled. Meredith slirped up a strand of spaghetti that was dangling from her mouth, then smiled back. They fell into a peaceful silence, staring into each other's eyes.

"Um, Dr Shepherd?" Meredith said eventually, leaning a little closer to the attending.

"Yes Meredith?" said Derek, leaning closer himself.

"Would you.. Are you.." New and unfamiliar feelings were swimming around in the residents mind, and she had no idea how to express them. "Are you going to eat that?" she sighed, gesturing to Derek's half-empty bowl. Derek handed it to her, sighing himself, but when their eyes met again, the pasta was soon forgotten. They leaned in, lips almost touching... Then Izzie popped up between them, completely ruining the moment.

"Isn't this romantic?" she grinned. "Just look at that sunset!"

"Sunset?!" Derek yelped, leaping to his feet. "It's getting late, so I uh.."

"What are you doing?" Meredith frowned, confused. Just when things seemed to be going so well between them, Derek had to start acting weird again.

"I think I see what's going on here" said Izzie, smirking at Derek. "You're afraid of the dark aren't you?"

"Yes!" said Derek as he backed towards the door of the windmill, thankful for the excuse. "You got me, I am _so_ scared. I think I'll go inside." With that, Derek quickly slipped inside the windmill.

"Don't feel too bad Doctor Shepherd" Izzie called after him. "I used to be afraid of the dark too until.." the blonde's face suddenly paled. "Wait a minute, I'm still afraid of the dark!" Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend, but her attention was soon drawn elsewhere when Derek's face poked out of the door.

"Goodnight" he smiled.

"Goodnight" Meredith smiled back. Derek slipped back inside. Meredith stared at the spot where he had been with a goofy grin on her face, and Izzie smirked at her, forgetting her fear of the dark.

"I see what's going on here."

"What?" Meredith frowned, snapping out of her trance.

"I'm a doctor and I've got instincts" said Izzie. "I can tell you two like each other."

"You're crazy" said Meredith, walking away. "I'm just taking him back to Sydney."

"You're the one who's crazy Mer" said Izzie. "Go in there and tell Derek how you feel!"

"What's there to tell?" Meredith snapped. "Even if I do go tell him, well, you know.. and I'm not saying I do, because I seriously don't.. He's an amazing, McDreamy attending and I'm..."

"A commitment phobic dark and twisty girl?" Izzie finished for her.

"Something like that" Meredith sighed. She headed back towards the woods.

"Where are you going?" Izzie frowned.

"To get more firewood" said Meredith. Izzie glanced at the still plentiful stack of wood beside her, but said nothing, deciding that this time it really was best to just leave Meredith alone.


	14. Derek's Dark And Twisty Secret

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

Later, after the sun had gone down completely and Meredith still hadn't returned, Izzie decided to go check on Derek.

"Doctor Shepherd?" she called as she pushed open the door, frowning when she recieved no response. "Doctor Shepherd?" She took a few more steps inside, shivering with fear, and panicking a little when she saw no sign of the attending. Unbeknownst to Izzie, a figure was watching her from the shadows. "Come on Doctor Shepherd, it's really creepy in here and this is no time to be playing games!" The figure tripped over, and Izzie gasped as it stood up. The figure was a man with scruffy black hair, bloodshot blue eyes, and stubble covering his face. "Ahh, a hobo!" Izzie screamed and attempted to run, but the man grabbed her.

"Shh! And I'm not a hobo, I'm.."

"Meredith, Meredith!" Izzie yelled.

"Please be quiet" said the man, looking around nervously.

"Okay scruffy" cried Izzie, jumping into a fighting stance. "Who are you and what have you done with Doctor Shepherd?"

"Izzie, it's me!"

"Well, I guess you do look kind of like him.." Izzie frowned, then her eyes widened. "Oh my god, aliens have abducted Doctor Shepherd and replaced him with an inferior dark and twisty clone!" The blonde ran to the window, shouting up at the sky. "Don't worry Doctor Shepherd, we'll save you somehow! Meredith!"

"Izzie!" snapped the man, turning the blonde around and placing a hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. "This is me." Izzie struggled for a minute, but then looked into the man's eyes and began to see the truth. She relaxed, and Derek moved his hand.

"Doctor Shepherd?" she whispered.

"Yes" he sighed.

"What happened to you?" said Izzie, still in shock. "You're uh.. kinda different."

"I'm dark and twisty, okay?" cried Derek.

"Maybe it was something you ate" said Izzie, panicking. "I told Meredith that spaghetti was a bad idea, 'you are what you eat' I said and now.."

"It's not that" said Derek. "I've been like this for years now."

"What?" Izzie frowned. "I've never seen you like this before."

"It only happens at night" sighed Derek, looking at his reflection in a nearby barrel of water. "'By night one way, by day another, this shall be the norm. Until you find true love's first kiss, and then take loves true form'."

"That's beautiful!" Izzie grinned. "I didn't know you wrote poetry!"

"It's a spell!" Derek snapped. "A few years ago, I took the blame for a botched nose-job my friend did on this patient that turned out to be a witch, and she cast a spell on me. Every night I become this!" he cried, punching his reflection in the water. "This dark and twisty guy! And you're right, I do look like a hobo! I was supposed to stay in that abandoned hospital and wait for my true love to rescue me. That's why I have to marry Doctor Herron, before the su sets and she sees me like this!"

"Oh come on, it's not that bad" said Izzie. "You're still pretty handsome even with the dark and twistiness, and besides, you only have to deal with this at night. Meredith's dark and twisty twenty-four seven."

"You don't understand!" cried Derek. "I'm supposed to be a handsome attending. This is not how handsome attendings are meant to look!"

"You don't have to marry Sydney you know" said Izzie, after a moment of thought.

"But only my true love's kiss can break the spell!"

"Well yeah" Izzie continued, sitting down on a crate. "But how can you be so sure Sydney's your true love? Why don't you stay with Meredith?"

"Meredith?" Derek frowned.

"Well, she's dark and twisty, and you're kinda dark and twisty. You two have a lot in common.."

--

Unaware to the pair inside the windmill, Meredith had returned, sunflower in hand and rehearsing a conversation she hoped to have with Derek.

"Hi Derek, how's it going?" she said to herself. "So, I found this flower, and its pretty. I don't really like it, but i thought you might because you're kind of pretty.. I mean McDreamy, no handsome, and.. I am in big trouble" she sighed. "Well, here I go." Meredith walked over to the windmill and prepared to knock on the door, frowning when she heard voices inside.

"Who could love someone so dark and twisty and commitment phobic?" came Derek's voice. "'Handsome' and 'dark and twisty' don't go together. That's why I can't stay with Meredith!" Meredith gasped in shock, dropping the flower and backing away from the windmill. She'd almost let herself believe that Derek really cared about her, but she was wrong. The dark and twisty resident marched off in the directio of Mercy West, intending to end this stupid adventure for good.

--

"My only chance at happiness is to marry my true love" Derek continued, oblivious, inside the windmill.

"I understand.. but you should at least tell Meredith the truth" said Izzie.

"No!" cried Derek. "No-one must ever know! You shouldn't even know! You cannot tell Meredith!"

"Oh come on, what's the use of having a best friend if you have to keep secrets from them?"

"I thought you said some guy named George was your best friend" Derek frowned, confused.

"He is" said Izzie, crossing her arms. "But Meredith is my best _girl_ friend."

"Nevermind" said Derek, shaking his head. "Just promise me Izzie! Promise you won't tell."

"Fine, I won't say anything" said Izzie reluctantly as she headed out of the windmill. "But you should. Mer deserves to know." As the blonde left, Derek spotted the flower that Meredith had dropped on the doorstep, and picked it up, smiling. Maybe it could help him decide what to do.


	15. Goodbye, Doctor Grey

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek

* * *

Inside the windmill, as the sun was just beginning to rise, dark and twisty Derek sat plucking petals from Meredith's flower.

"I tell her" he said as he plucked one petal. "I tell her not" he sighed, plucking another. "I tell her. I tell her not." Derek plucked the last petal, grinning. "I tell her!" He jumped up off of thecrate he was sitting on, and ran out the door, still clutching the now petal-less flower in his hand. "Meredith!" he called, "There's something I have to.." Unfortunately, at that moment, the Sun rose over the horizon, and in one flash of light, Derek was dark and twisty no more. He sighed, knowing that it would have been a lot easier to explain to Meredith in his transformed state, but smiled when he saw the woman in question making her way up the hill. "Meredith.." Derek's smile faded when he noticed the angry look on the resident's face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Fine" said Meredith, pushing past him. "Never better."

"Well, there's something I have to tell you.." Derek began, but Meredith spun around angrily, cutting him off.

"You don't have to tell me anything Doctor Shepherd, I heard it all last night!"

"You did?"

"Every word!" Meredith snapped.

"So you understand.." Derek tried to say.

"Of course, it's just like you said. 'Who could love someone so dark and twisty and commitment phobic?'"

"I thought that wouldn't matter to you" said Derek sadly.

"Well, it does!" said Meredith angrily. Derek just stared at her, shocked and saddened by her reaction. Suddenly, the sound of a siren was heard, waking Izzie who was still sleeping nearby. "Ah, right on time" said Meredith. "I've got a surprise for you, Doctor Shepherd." An ambulance drove up the hill, then Mark, Sydney, and a few security guards climbed out of it.

"Derek! Wow, the dark and twisty chick actually did it!" Mark cried, beginning to rush over to his friend before Sydney stopped him.

"You can have your reunion later, Doctor Sloan" she said with a sickly sweet smile, before turning to Derek. "Ah, Doctor Shepherd."

"Hey Herron, a deal's a deal!" Meredith cut her off. "Hand it over!"

"Oh, of course" said Sydney disinterestedly, pulling a document out of her pocket and handing it to Meredith. "The deed to your house, as promised."

"And the shiny happy squatters?" Meredith frowned.

"As good as gone" Sydney smiled. Meredith nodded, then turned and began to walk away.

"Wait Mer, can't we.." Izzie began, sighing when her friend walked straight past her.

"Forgive me for startling you Doctor Shepherd, but you startled me" Sydney began. "I've never seen such a handsome man before. I am Doctor Sydney Herron." Derek did not reply, as he was too focused on Meredith's retreating form. Sydney snapped her fingers to get his attention.

"Oh no, forgive me Doctor Herron" he said quickly. "I was just saying a short.." he sighed sadly, once again glancing between Sydney and Meredith. Sydney may have been bright and shiny, but she was nowhere near as beautiful. "..Farewell."

"Oh, how nice of you" Sydney chuckled. "But you don't have to waste good manners on that dark and twisty woman. It's not like she has any real feelings." Izzie glared at Sydney, but was shocked by Derek's reply.

"No, you're right, she doesn't." And after remembering his exchange with Meredith before Sydney's arrival, Derek really did think that the wannabe Chief Resident may have been right. Meredith cringed as she walked off towards the forest. Though she already knew (or thought she knew) how Derek really felt about her, the comment still stung. Sydney kissed Derek's hand, then got down on one knee. Izzie and Mark looked on, both disgusted by what was happening, although Mark was also a little relieved. He didn't really want Derek to marry Sydney, but he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, his friend could convince her to release Arizona. Mark didn't even know where Sydney was keeping the Paeds attending anymore, and Callie, despite the best efforts of Sydney's followers, was still nowhere to be found. He hoped this meant that she had made it to Seattle Grace, a place beyond the reach of Sydney's power, and, incidentally, the hospital where Derek was once destined to be Chief, but he had no way to be sure.

"Doctor Shepherd, I know this is a little unconventional" Sydney began, "But I humbly ask for your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect groom, for the perfect bride?" Derek took one last desperate glance at Meredith, who had her back turned on the proceedings. Derek, frustrated with the resident's behaviour, turned back to Sydney.

"Doctor Herron, I accept. Nothing would make me happier than.."

"Excellent!" Sydney cut him off, grinning as she stood up. "Now back to Mercy West, for tomorrow we wed!"

"No!" cried Derek. Meredith looked back for a second, almost hopeful, but her hopes were soon dashed. "Why wait?" Derek chuckled. "Let's get married today, before sunset."

"Ooh, anxious are we?" Sydney laughed. "But you're right, the sooner the better. We have so much to do! We need a caterer, a cake, a band, the guest list.." she turned to two of the security guards. "You two, round up some guests!" Sydney and Mark climbed back into the ambulance. Derek looked back at Meredith, sighing sadly.

"Goodbye, Doctor Grey." He climbed into the ambulance with the others. When it was gone, Meredith headed off in the other direction.

"What are you doing Mer?" Izzie cried. "You're letting him get away!"

"Who cares?" said Meredith.

"Look, there's something you don't know about him!" said Izzie, running to keep up with her friend as she tried to explain. "I was talking to him last night, and.."

"I know what you talked about last night Izzie!" Meredith snapped. "You're great pals, aren't you? If you two are such good friends, why don't you follow _him_ home?"

"I don't want to go with him Mer" Izzie replied softly. "I want to go with you."

"I already told you, you're not coming home with me!" Meredith yelled. "I live alone! In my house, me, nobody else! Especially not useless, pathetic, annoying dumb blondes!"

"But.. but I thought.." said Izzie, eyes feeling with tears.

"Well, you thought wrong!" Meredith growled. The dark and twisty resident marched off in the direction of her house, leaving a tearful Izzie behind.

* * *

AN: I have mentioned this before, but for a loyal reviewer who asked, yes, I am doing the sequel as well.


	16. That's What Friends Do

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

A little while later, Meredith returned home, finding no bright and shinies in sight. She sighed. Sydney had kept her promise.

* * *

Back at Mercy West, some of the security guys were helping Derek into his tuxedo for the wedding. He sighed sadly.

* * *

Meredith now surveyed the inside of her house, which seemed a little worse for wear. She caught her reflection in a broken mirror on the floor, cringing, then set about tidying up the mess that her 'guests' had left behind.

* * *

Derek caught sight of his own reflection in a bathroom mirror, and found that he looked quite depressed. He was not as enthusiastic about his upcoming nuptials as he had been when Meredith first rescued him. In another room, Sydney was showing off her wedding dress to the other men. Mark gave a half-hearted thumbs up, then Burke, who had not really been paying attention, smiled and nodded nervously, not wanting any harm to come to his beloved lucky scrub caps.

* * *

In the forest, Izzie sat alone by the river, staring at her reflection. She heard somebody sigh nearby, and got up to investigate, surprised to find Alex the Evil Spawn sitting sadly a short distance away from her. Feeling sorry for him, and guilty for being the cause of his current predicament, Izzie layed a comforting hand on the Evil Spawn's foot. Alex looked down at her, smiling.

* * *

Derek looked at the newly made wedding cake, with little figurines of himself and Sydney perched on top of it. He took a small glob of pink icing and placed it on the little Sydney's nose to make it more anatomically correct. He then sat down to eat the bowl of soup that had been made for him, sighing once again.

* * *

Meredith was also eating alone, but, for the first time in her dark and twisty life, discovered that she didn't like it. She groaned and put her head in her hands, beginning to regret sending Derek away. She then heard a noise outside, and went out too see what was going on. There she found a familiar bright and shiny resident, laying out a line of rocks right through Meredith's backyard, heading towards the house.

"Izzie?" Meredith frowned, surprised, and, though she'd never admit it, also kind of happy to see the blonde. Izzie ignored her friend, continuing her work. "Uh, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm building a wall" Izzie replied, frowning. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Okay.." said Meredith, confused. "But the wall's supposed to go _around_my house Iz, not through it!"

"It is!" Izzie snapped. "Around my half, see?"

"_Your_ half?" said Meredith, eyes narrowed.

"Yes, _my_half!" Izzie shot back. "I helped save Doctor Shepherd, I did _half_ the work, I get _half_ the reward! Now had me that ugly old gnome, the one whose face looks like your ass!"

"Get lost, Princess Peroxide!" Meredith yelled angrily.

"You get lost!"

"But it's _my_ house!"

"_Our_ house!"

"Blonde bimbo!"

"Smelly surgeon!"

"Fine!" Meredith yelled, turning and walking away. "Do what you want!"

"Oh no, I'm not done with you yet!" Izzie yelled, following her.

"Well guess what Iz?" Meredith growled, not looking back, "I'm done with you!"

"With you it's always 'me, me, me'" Izzie mocked. "Well it's my turn now, so shut up and listen! You are mean to me, you insult me, and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around, or pushing me away!"

"If I'm so terrible, then why did you come back?"

"Because that's what friends do!" cried Izzie, seizing Meredith by the shoulders. "They forgive each other!"

"Alright Izzie, I forgive you.. for stabbing me in the back!" Meredith marched back into the house and locked herself in, but Izzie followed and waited outside, undaunted.

"You're so wrapped up in layers Onion girl, you're afraid of your own feelings!" she yelled.

"Go away!"

"You're doing it again!" said Izzie, frustrated. "Pushing me away, just like you did with Derek, and all he did was like you, maybe even love you!"

"He said I was dark and twisty!" Meredith snapped from behind the door.

"He wasn't talking about you, he was talking about.." Izzie paused, "..Somebody else." The door creaked open.

"Really?" asked Meredith. Izzie nodded. "Then who was he talking about?"

"Why should I tell you if you won't listen?" Izzie frowned.

"Fine, I'm sorry!" Meredith snapped. Then she sighed. "I'm sorry, Iz. I guess I am just a commitment phobic dark and twisty girl.. forgive me?"

"Sure, what are friends for?" "Izzie smiled.

"So.. what did Derek say about me?" Meredith asked.

"Why don't you go ask him yourself?" said Izzie.

"The Wedding!" Meredith cried. "We'll never make it in time!"

"Not so fast there Mer" Izzie grinned. "For where there's a will, there's a way, and I have a way." Izzie whistled, and a few seconds later, a huge shadowy figure appeared in the sky, then landed in Meredith's yard.

"The Evil Spawn?" Meredith gasped.

"My name is Alex" he frowned.

"And he's not an evil spawn anymore, he's reformed" Izzie explained. "You're a good spawn now, aren't you baby?"

"If that's what you want, that's what I am" Alex smiled.

"Come here, you!" Meredith chuckled, giving Izzie a noogie.

"Stop that, no-one likes a suck up" Izzie laughed. "Now hang on" she added as Alex picked them up. "Alex isn't used to passengers, and I didn't have time to install seat-belts." With that, the 'good' spawn took to the air, carrying Meredith and Izzie towards Mercy West. They had a wedding to crash.


	17. That Explains A Lot

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Mercy West, all the doctors and nurses had gathered in the hospital chapel for Sydney and Derek's wedding. The ceremony was already underway. The priest was reading a passage from the bible, while Mark reluctantly stood up the front, holding up cue cards so the guests would behave exactly as Sydney wanted. The current one read 'silence'.

"Employees of Mercy West" said the priest, speaking in an agonisingly slow voice. "We are gathered here today to bear witness to the union.."

"Excuse me" Derek interrupted, glancing nervously out the window as the sun was just beginning to set, "Can we just skip to the I dos?"

"Anxious are we?" Sydney smirked, before turning to the priest. "You heard the man, hurry it up!"

* * *

Outside the hospital, Sydney's security guards were standing guard outside the hospital, only to scatter and flee, screaming, when Alex made his landing.

"Good job, baby" Izzie smiled.

"Thanks Alex" added Meredith as the now not-so-evil spawn set them down.

"No problem" Alex grinned. Meredith was about to march straight into the hospital, but Izzie stopped her.

"Hang on Mer, you're doing this all wrong!"

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"There's a line you've got to wait for" Izzie explained. "The priest'll say 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' and then you burst in and yell 'I object!'"

"I don't have time for this" said Meredith, rolling her eyes and turning back towards the hospital.

"Wait, Mer!" cried Izzie, seizing her friend by the shoulders. "You love Derek, don't you?"

"Yes" Meredith sighed.

"You wanna hold him?"

"Yes."

"Please him?"

"Yes!" Meredith snapped, annoyed.

"_Then you've gotta, gotta, try a little tenderness!_" Izzie sang. "Bright and shiny people love that romantic crap!"

"Fine" Meredith sighed. "So, when does the guy say this line?"

"Uh.." Izzie paused. "We've got to check it out."

* * *

And so, the group found the chapel window, and Alex repeatedly tossed Izzie into the air to see what was happening.

"And so, by the power vested in me.." the priest was saying.

"Gee, everybody's in there!" said Izzie as she went up.

"Izzie, concentrate!" Meredith yelled as she came down.

"Right.. ooh, they're at the altar!"

"The line Izzie, the line!"

"I now pronounce you man and wife.." the priest continued.

"Oops, I think they already said it" said Izzie sheepishly.

"Oh, for the love of God!" Meredith groaned, running into the hospital.

"Whistle if you need us!" Izzie called after her.

* * *

"I object!" Meredith yelled, bursting into the chapel just as Sydney and Derek were about to kiss.

"Meredith?" asked Derek turning around, shocked to see her, but also slightly hopeful.

"The dark and twisty girl?" Sydney growled.

"Hi everyone!" Meredith chuckled nervously as all eyes fell on her. "Nice hospital you've got here. Very clean."

"What are you doing here?" Derek frowned.

"Really" said Sydney. "It's bad enough being alive when no-one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a _wedding.."_

"Derek, we have to talk" said Meredith, ignoring Sydney.

"So _now_ you want to talk?" said Derek, annoyed. "Well it's a bit late for that, so.."

"You can't marry her!" Meredith cried.

"And why not?" Derek frowned.

"Because.. because she's only marrying you so she can be Chief Resident!"

"That's crazy!" Sydney cried.

"She's not your true love!" cried Meredith.

"Really? What would you know about that?" said Derek.

"Well..I..um.." stammered Meredith.

"Oh, this is good!" Sydney chuckled. "The dark and twisty girl is in love with Doctor Shepherd!" She gestured to mark, who sighed and held up the 'laugh' cue card, causing the guests to erupt in a chorus of laughter.

"Is that true, Meredith?" asked Derek quietly.

"Forget her!" snapped Sydney, before Meredith had a chance to reply. "Derek my love, we are only a kiss away from our happily ever after. Now kiss me!" She puckered her lips and Derek cringed, then looked through the window behind her, where the sun was slipping below the horizon.

"By night one way, by day another" Derek sighed, stepping over to the window and turning to Meredith. "I wanted to show you before." Derek was surrounded by light, and when it cleared, there he was, in his dark and twisty, hobo-like form. The guests gasped in shock. One poor woman fainted.

"Well" Meredith chuckled sheepishly. "That explains a lot."


	18. Happily Ever After

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

"Eugh, he's hideous!" cried Sydney, disgusted. "Guards, take them away!"

"No!" cried Meredith, trying to fight her way through to Derek.

"Meredith!" Derek cried, as the security guards grabbed him. Mark ditched the cue cards and tried to help, but was apprehended before he could be of much use.

"This marriage is binding" yelled Sydney, geabbing a shiny new name tag and pinning it to her chest. "That makes me Chief Resident, see?"

"Let me go!" growled Meredith, as the guards grabbed her as well.

"As for you, my husband" said Sydney, pulling out a scalpel and holding it to Derek's neck, "I'll have you locked back in that abandoned hospital for the rest of your life!"

"Derek!" Meredith cried.

"I am Chief Resident!" Sydney screeched. "I will have order! I will have perfection!" Meredith managed to get one of her hands free, and, remembering what Izzie said, whistled. "I will have.." Before Sydney could finish, Alex, with Izzie riding on his shoulder, smashed through the chapel window, bent down, and swallowed the self-appointed Chief resident whole. The crowd gasped.

"Nobody move! I've got a Spawn here and I'm not afraid to use him!" Izzie yelled. "I'm a Doctor on the edge!" Alex burped, sending Sydney's name tag flying out of his mouth.

"Man, that chick tasted like bacon" he grinned, licking his lips.

"Celebrity weddings, they never last do they?" Izzie chuckled. She smiled at Meredith. "Go ahead, Mer." Meredith moved over to Derek, blushing slightly.

"Um, Derek?" she said nervously.

"Yes Meredith?" Derek replied.

"I.. I love you."

"Really?" said Derek, blushing himself

"Really, really" Meredith smiled.

"I love you too" Derek smiled back. He pulled Meredith too him, and they finally shared true love's first kiss. Suddenly, Derek was surrounded by light, and lifted into the air, while everybody, including Meredith, looked on, stunned. Beams of light spread from him, shattering the chapel windows. As Derek descended, one window was left un-smashed, so Alex punched it out.

"Derek?" asked Meredith, running to him as he slowly got up and looked himself over. He was still a dark and twisty hobo.

"I don't understand" he said, turning to Meredith. "I'm supposed to be McDreamy." Meredith gave a small chuckle.

"You _are_McDreamy" she smiled, kissing him again.

"I always knew this was gonna be a happy ending!" said Izzie, wiping a tear from her eye.

* * *

A few months later, with all her new bright and shiny friends looking on, Meredith married Derek in her backyard. As they shared their first kiss as husband and wife, a song began to play.

_I thought love was only true in fairytales_

"Oy!" shouted Owen Hunt as he played his guitar, having been hired as the entertainment.

_Meant for someone else but not for me._

Derek and Meredith pushed through the crowd, who cheered.

_Love was out to get me,_

_That's the way it seemed._

_Disappointment haunted all my dreams._

The newlyweds ran to an ambulance with 'Just Married' written across the back.

_Then I saw her face,_

_Now I'm a believer!_

_Not a trace,_

_Of doubt in my mind._

Meredith threw her bouquet. All the women fought over it, pushing and shoving each other, until Izzie caught it with Alex giving her a boost. She grinned down at Meredith.

_I'm in love,_

_Ooh-ah,_

_I'm a believer,_

_I couldn't leave her if I tried._

Meredith and Derek climbed into the ambulance and deove away, heading off on their honeymoon. The crowd cheered and waved as they left.

"God bless us everyone!" smiled Arizona, throwing an arm around Mark's shoulder. He, with some help from the others, had managed to find and rescue the Peds attending after Sydney's demise.

_"Then I saw his face!"_Izzie sang, grabbing a microphone as the band continued to play. _"Now I'm a believer!"_The Mercy Westers danced in a chorus line. "_Not a trace, of doubt in my mind!" _Alex grinned, joining in.

_"I'm in love, I'm a believer!" _He smiled as Izzie gave him a kiss on the cheek. _"I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried." _Steve, Megan, and Pierce were dancing on top of the piano, but Steve wasn't watching what he was doing and accidentally knocked his fellow interns down with his jazz hands.

_"Then I saw his face, now I'm a believer!"_Izzie continued to sing. George held up a stick while the other guests played limbo. The guy with the giant Sydney head tried, but the head was too big and he fell down. _"Not a trace, of doubt in my mind!"_Even Addison and the Oceansiders had come to the wedding, and were currently dancing the Macarena. "One more time!" Izzie cheered. _"I'm in love, I'm a believer!"_ As revenge for her earlier torture, Arizona had stolen the Sydney figurine that had once sat atop the cake, and was stamping it to pieces.

_"I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe, hey!"_Izzie and Alex sang in unison.

"Sing it with us!" Alex yelled.

_"I believe, I believe!"_The crowd sang, while Arizona skated around them on her heelys, giggling.

"All the people in the back!" called Izzie.

_"I believe, I'm a believer, I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe!"_

"Man" Izzie chuckled, gasping for breath after the song had finished. "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

* * *

AN: One more chapter to go, tee hee!


	19. Meredith's Karaoke Dance Party

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's, or Shrek.

* * *

"Hi, everyone!" Meredith smiled, speaking into a microphone and waving to all the loyal readers of this story. "Welcome to Meredith's tequila-induced Karaoke Dance Party! I'm going to take things down a bit, with one of my personal favourites" She walked over and pressed a button on a nearby stereo, then turned to her new husband Derek, who was sitting on a log, and began to sing to him._ "Don't go changin', to try and please me. You've never let me down before, Mmm.." _The music sped up a little, then Derek began to sing himself, rolling around in the grass.

_"I made it through the wilderness!"_ he sang, while George played DJ and scratched some turntables. _"You know I made it through!"_ George scratched again. _"Didn't know how lost I was until __I_ _found you.."_

"Yeah!" yelled Izzie, grabbing a microphone while Alex danced behind her, waving his huge tail._ "I like big butts and I cannot lie! You other sisters can't deny! When a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get.." _Alex accidently swept Izzie away with his tail, and Mark caught the microphone as it flew throuigh the air.

"Feelings" he sang.

_"It's fun to stay at the YMCA!"_ Addison sang, while the Oceansiders performed the appropriate dance moves behind her. _"It's fun to stay at the YMCA.." _Addison laughed, tossing the mike to Arizona.

_"Do you really want to hurt me?"_ The peds attending sang, spinning around on her heelys. _"Do you really want to make me cry?"_

_"Ah, ah, ah, ah!"_ sang Steve and the interns, while Alex stood behind them, holding a microphone up to his stomach so Sydney, languishing inside, could be heard.

_"Staying alive, staying alive!"_ the wannabe Chief Resident panicked.

_"Ah, ah, ah, ah!" _the interns echoed. Now it was Doctor Bailey's turn.

_"Who let the dogs out?"_

_"Who, who, who?"_ sang the Mercy Westers, dancing behind her and providing back-up vocals.

_"Who let the dogs out?"_

_"Who, who, who?"_

"Shake it up, and dance to the music!" Izzie called, as the mike was returned to her.

_"Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom"_ sang the interns, snapping their fingers.

_"Dance to the music!"_ the crowd sang. _"Dance to the music!"_

_"All we need is a drummer!" _sang George.

_"For people who only need a beat, yeah!"_ added Burke.

"Break it down, dream boy!" cried Izzie as Derek busted out an awesome drum solo. She then turned to Mark. "Doctor McSteamy, my man!"

_"I'm gonna ask some bottoms.."_ Mark sang.

_"That all the dancers just won't hide"_ sang Arizona, skating up beside him.

"Take it, Mer!" Izzie called to her friend, who was playing an organ.

_"You might like to hear my organ.."_

_"I said ride, Sally ride!"_ sang Izzie. Meredith ditched the organ in favor of a duet with Derek, while George returned to his turntables.

_"I can't see me loving nobody but you, for all my life!"_ The newlyweds sang, hand in hand and staring dreamily into each other's eyes.

_"Dance to the music!"_ everybody sang, performing various dance moves.

"Hey Mer, you ain't dancing yet!" Izzie called.

_"Dance to the music!"_

"Oh yeah!"

_"Dance to the music!"_

"That's how I like it!"

"Dance to the music!"

"Everybody now!" Izzie yelled.

_"Dance to the music! Dance to the music! Dance to the music! Dance to the music!"_

"Hey Alex, would you watch your tail next time babe?" said Izzie when the song finished, causing everyone to laugh.

* * *

AN: And there it is! I'll start the sequel soon. It'll be called 'Meredith 2: Adventures in Seattle Grace'


End file.
